Nothing creative

Music always made me feel creative,it inspires me to do stuff… write about things.
My ear drums vibrate gently from voices and sounds of human desperation hidden in cluster of emotional and physical performance.
My brain lights up, as my neurons send information to one another of peace and pain, happiness and sadness, i become aware of myself and everything that quietly breath behind my back.

White becomes grey, paper gets moist it rains tonight. My eyes are closed i don’t really see as clear, it was bad idea to write on my balcony in the first place. Sun peeks from behind the clouds, even rain drops slow down, appreciate the moment, catch last sunlight, make slow sweet love with your own life.
Only the tallest grass peeks out from flooded fields beneath my balcony, dark dangerous waters inhabit thous flooded fields. They seem dead until slow rain drop kisses the surface, sets all in motion. One wave becomes two, and two four as eventually everything is exploding. Dark waters move from slowest rain i ever seen, makes it forget let it guard down, and now everything what is above sees the bottom of thous damned flooded fields.
Burst of laughter leaves me startled, who can inhabit this secluded place. Dressed in dark, bear footed smiling brighter that my lover sun, dark haired and bright eyed on her back like water strider slowly moving on the surface of thous now loving clear waters.
If i could i would not stair, but i am to weak and she is just to beautiful, stepping from balcony was not so hard as i don’t really feel fear of heights. But water hurts me, makes me uncomfortable, makes my long for fire. Only natural to be dry and warm, and i am son of mars it is natural indeed.
“Please take my hand” i whisper gently, she smiles back with this expression on her face like she was just looking for an answer ” my hands are itchy from thous flooded fields” she understood while laughing from my blunt response. She grabs my hands…
I don’t really live in this world but we can all relive it over and over again while it is encrusted into memory of the web.

Broadway Tower

This gallery contains 7 photos.

Ships are not so boring when u think about it.

Don’t you hate it?
But really it sucks so much… after few more years i wont remember my childhood at all.
And it sucks even more when you learn about memory ink, and how it dries out with each use and memory just fades away; and memory valiantly has been striped away until just few bits and peaces are left to still warm your heart. There are moments in life of course, you will never forget.

One off my favorite thing in life, of course beside pissing off people is memory collection, no matter how well our brains developed over time i still trust our material world more, to pass on my memories for save keeping. Call thous items how you want but it seems that i will put my money on anchors, so sometimes when i am alone, feeling melancholic or just irritated  by my dull surroundings, i fall to the bottom of my ocean. With out any hesitation after i feel my back has finally touched the surface, i let out my last renaming air- bubble away to the surface, and with hope and determination in my eyes i follow the light from above to spot any shadows from ships above. Afterwards, anchor must be found to get me into the ship,and… so i must release  it from deadly grasp of darkened sand and sail away for a moment in time when i felt something – what i need at the moment, strong or afraid, happy or sad or just at peace.

Anchors for me are in many shapes and forms, words or images, smells or warmth of the sun…
and my world feels up and swells with time, so there and everywhere i can find ships just above my head ready to sail with my command.

Some songs can bring me to the edge, only because off the emotion value they have for me, from few songs i can feel heart squeezing as my soul swells and yells from pain. We humans just love our misery, i am no exaction, as i enjoy feeling that pain as it only tells me of that i am human and i feel.

After each party or gathering with my friends or people i just meat, i always bring back bottle of wine, well wine itself is nothing special but bottle…  ou boy some of the best memories are attached to thing as simple as bottle, and it would wound my deeply to loses them all as now only thing i need, is just to take the wanted bottle into my hand close my eyes and sail… as images rush through my head… i just cant stop smiling and feeling some kinda sadness for thous moments are long times- past.

There are places in this world where by just one simple step i can unlock such riches….

There are smells in the world which immediately after being processed by my brains pope some kinda image into my head…

And of course people, and they are the best anchors. As now i am filed up and getting drunk on my memories, i wont drag it one any more as only i want to say one thing about people: They can bring happiness into your life; smile on your face, but they can hurt you as well, but the worst thing is that i feel sadness for time has past and it never stops, feeling lump down my throat i curse my gods for making me so melancholic, at times like this still i feel happy as my gift made me the way i am with all my humanity i praise the holly melody…
Love word and it will love me back, as there are not even close to enough money in this world to buy some of the moments i have now docked in my endless imagination.

Thank you for reading ;]

Homeless.

Soo homeless person walks up to me and with marble face twisted by envy and pain that life has put on his shoulders, he calmly asks me for directions to a certain place, of course i can’t recall what he was asking… because that what he said next shocked me to the deepest corners of my still young but roten body – ”I am not looking for a place, but for directions to my lost soul, they have stolen it from me”… after that i reaped over and over to my self there is no greater evil than person to himself, but i learned my lesson, i must get lost first so i can find my self, only then homeless dreams can settle in and my journey can’t end without any adventure, that still is waiting for me.

Day after crash, still without any breaks we go.

For everyone out there with social problems – they are just in your head, or in people around you heads.

There is nothing wrong with you, “in need for a little push you are”.
Emotional melt down, the last one after break up with my now ex-girlfriend, made something unplug in my head. Feeling different more free, focused and determined step by step i made my self let go, not only a painful break up but few of my traumas as well, so by killing off few of my demons and by accepting my true animal nature – no more there is something that can stop or slow me down.

Fear is just a disease, but your body is not ill your mind is.

Merciful Saturday.

Lithuania 2013, Traku castle. Enjoy … ;] and thank you for visiting.

Memory ink.

Best way to preserv a memory, is not to overuse it.
Otherwise memory ink dries out, picture cracks and crumbles, and memory just fades away….

How to not look lonely. ^^!

2013.07,,,,,

IDeas which make us unique

Idea which just changed my life, one simple thought and my whole life just crumble.. .Why cant i be always happy ? Why people think that being unhappy is common and being happy forever is unnatural? Why ? I chose to not be slave to this … i will fight my way up… with a smile.

Just smile and love… be happy …

On our green, blue and round planet there is more that we need and still greed has settled in our hearts, that is why we feel unhappy because we long to drink from another cup, but not the one which is presented to us…

Why we cant just stop and be thankful for little things in our ongoing life ?  Be grateful, and enjoy split moments in your loved ones arms or just feel earth breathing under your feet. Never stop no matter what, there is not a single thing that will influence you in more positive way than just  a  smile or love – at fist off course –  for your self… Be thankful to your past self, that he got you so far in this harsh world of ours.
Just smile and you will see your self changing…

Why we always talk to strangers kindly, and often thous close to us treat rude, sometimes  we ignore them or just push a side.. when it is they who need our support the most, when it was last time when you treated someone, close to you, kindly ? When it was last time u thanked them for being there right beside you?
Repeat to them that they are best thing in your life and show them how much love you carry in your self for that special one. We should not be afraid to show our good parts which still, not considering rotten parts of you ( we all have them, it is how life works) are there inside you.

LESSONS PEOPLE TAUGHT ME:

If you want to hear the truth ~ Listen to your heart.

If you want to fly ~ Don’t be afraid to break your wings.

If you want to forgive ~ Ask for forgiveness.

If you want to be a good dancer ~ Dance with your soul, not your feet.

If you want to get to the top ~ You have to touch the bottom.

If you want to be free ~ Don’t lie to yourself.

If you want to heal ~ Cry, Laugh, Breath & Let go.

If you want to be rich ~ Help someone.

If you want to find You ~ Get lost.

If you want to learn ~ Change.

If you want to feel loved ~ Love.

If you want to be happy ~ Be.

02/07/2013 © Elena Levon

And there is nothing more to say… Just be happy…. ;]

Elena Levon – http://mselenalevontraveling.com/elena-levon-poetry-musings/

She is one person from many, who can inspire you to to do great thing with your life…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-HKvYDTpoc&list=UUQ2F23CWMIS8xCW800MMF4A        — One of greatest musical peaces, there is no word to describe beauty which this song emits in your ear drums then brain and lastly your soul…. enjoy… ^^

Talent to practice

Some time has past since last i wrote something… only because i don’t know what do i want to do with my little time what i have on this planet earth, don’t get me wrong i am fairly young but i cant shake this one thing off. What do i want to do with my life. There is no words to describe my doubts about my whole existence. One day i believe that universe has plan for me next one i think that i shouldn’t be her in the first place. I alway thought that writing is what i will do… but i am bad at this – maybe because i haven’t yet discovered my nisha ( the way of writing – my unique  way of putting thing on paper) but then maybe i will never find it.

What do i do then? I think that practice makes huge difference, so if u can be good at something just by practicing it over and over again, why do we have this concept of talent? Thing is that u need talent to practice something, u may be talented to practice music or maybe painting or just simple things like cleaning or cooking, no doubt that talent is huge component to your life meaning. For some people talent and is they life meaning, they feel that this is given to them and they are obligated to be best at it. Talent is huge blessing but burden non the less.

So what do i do if i am not talented at anything useful? Are you? There is nothing you are best at? Start from small thing… like maybe u are champion at flossing your teeth every morning? So maybe then u will become dentist one day.. this is very abstract i know. By just bare with me for a moment… If i am talented at something small i can grow it. I can see my talent blossom into something powerful enough to change my life completely.

So what is my little talent? Imagination… this huge world that i carry on my shoulders. Some time it takes me so far away from reality that i don’t really care what is happening around me. And then i was always good at making stuff up, lying and writing essays  in school. Perks that come in package  with my imagination problem. So maybe then i am now obligated to practice and be best at making stuff up from thin air, try to shove people what i see every day thou my eyes. And then maybe i will grow, and then maybe i will be one day talented to practice art of imagination the way it should be practiced, with huge emotion value to me and reader, try to connect with world.

“Small things do matter”