In calm dark waters, beast lurks silently, staling and waiting.
Looking at your reflection – you won’t see transition,
in fact when you see it, it will be too late.
Human features shifting and twisting.
Teeth become claws, skin – scales,
and your eyes blacken, now you know.
Transition so fast it just took a blink of an eye,
and you are consumed.
Digested in bowls of the beast, loosing your self until letting it all go.
Forgetting, changing as corrosive fluids melt your skin off.
Take memories away and no longer you are you, just blood thirsty shell,
with hearth of stone, liquid and hot insides.
Creating gravity to draw new unsuspecting victim to its premature grave,
in calm dark waters.
Don’t you hate it?
But really it sucks so much… after few more years i wont remember my childhood at all.
And it sucks even more when you learn about memory ink, and how it dries out with each use and memory just fades away; and memory valiantly has been striped away until just few bits and peaces are left to still warm your heart. There are moments in life of course, you will never forget.
One off my favorite thing in life, of course beside pissing off people is memory collection, no matter how well our brains developed over time i still trust our material world more, to pass on my memories for save keeping. Call thous items how you want but it seems that i will put my money on anchors, so sometimes when i am alone, feeling melancholic or just irritated by my dull surroundings, i fall to the bottom of my ocean. With out any hesitation after i feel my back has finally touched the surface, i let out my last renaming air- bubble away to the surface, and with hope and determination in my eyes i follow the light from above to spot any shadows from ships above. Afterwards, anchor must be found to get me into the ship,and… so i must release it from deadly grasp of darkened sand and sail away for a moment in time when i felt something – what i need at the moment, strong or afraid, happy or sad or just at peace.
Anchors for me are in many shapes and forms, words or images, smells or warmth of the sun…
and my world feels up and swells with time, so there and everywhere i can find ships just above my head ready to sail with my command.
Some songs can bring me to the edge, only because off the emotion value they have for me, from few songs i can feel heart squeezing as my soul swells and yells from pain. We humans just love our misery, i am no exaction, as i enjoy feeling that pain as it only tells me of that i am human and i feel.
After each party or gathering with my friends or people i just meat, i always bring back bottle of wine, well wine itself is nothing special but bottle… ou boy some of the best memories are attached to thing as simple as bottle, and it would wound my deeply to loses them all as now only thing i need, is just to take the wanted bottle into my hand close my eyes and sail… as images rush through my head… i just cant stop smiling and feeling some kinda sadness for thous moments are long times- past.
There are places in this world where by just one simple step i can unlock such riches….
There are smells in the world which immediately after being processed by my brains pope some kinda image into my head…
And of course people, and they are the best anchors. As now i am filed up and getting drunk on my memories, i wont drag it one any more as only i want to say one thing about people: They can bring happiness into your life; smile on your face, but they can hurt you as well, but the worst thing is that i feel sadness for time has past and it never stops, feeling lump down my throat i curse my gods for making me so melancholic, at times like this still i feel happy as my gift made me the way i am with all my humanity i praise the holly melody…
Love word and it will love me back, as there are not even close to enough money in this world to buy some of the moments i have now docked in my endless imagination.
Thank you for reading ;]
Some times you can find inspiration in most bizarre places. Inspiration for putting next step in this sometimes cold and harsh environment.
Some times we do what we must – with out any consideration, well this is not such a bag thing, and i am most great full for this. For some people it should be forbidden to make decisions or at least reason the they they reason.
Some people who are just so narrow and shallow, they probably some times are shocked them self of the thing they fink off or dream off.
But aren’t we all some times scared off the thing what happen in our heads…
I know most off us do, aren’t you some times sicken by what your head can make up from boredom? While you are in a bus or a train or just laying your head for a rest, your mind when is not challenged by creative or logical thinking goes rogue.
Flying off to your own wounder land, just under or above you reality which you share with other 7 billion people.
7 billion people, god… it is to much to imagine, and 7 billion different realities, 7 billion different ways to understand world, 7 billion different faces and dreams and even more ambition.
Amazing and frightening world, beautiful for thous who share ideas, and for thous who take them in and make up they own mind. I do not think there is no god, but i choose not to call him like that, i feel it is to cold of name for powers of nature. Still i believe- God has many faces but i can’t understand all this hate and blood spilled over the ages in the name of one true god, human being.
Yes it sound absurd – humanity is God him self, we created them only for giving reason for our fears, giving some kinda code for man to live by. This make seance, does it ? I am truly great full for people in this world who are not yet blinded by religion but still believe in it, believe in what it stands for.
I will never be one off them, i am different i am spiritual person. I believe in a sun, wind and earth, in emotion and how it moves us to do some time foolish, some times dangerous things, but it is part off our nature – and Gaia heals me, karma sets my foot on the ground, Ra shines above and washes my soul from impurities, Thor strikes in furry when i feel like i am going nuts… and it is all just my imagination.
Inspiration comes from weird places i am telling you ;]]
P.S. My first weak in Uk runs off in wild bust of laughter, and still new view though the window amazes me the most.
Stay happy ;]
Soo homeless person walks up to me and with marble face twisted by envy and pain that life has put on his shoulders, he calmly asks me for directions to a certain place, of course i can’t recall what he was asking… because that what he said next shocked me to the deepest corners of my still young but roten body – ”I am not looking for a place, but for directions to my lost soul, they have stolen it from me”… after that i reaped over and over to my self there is no greater evil than person to himself, but i learned my lesson, i must get lost first so i can find my self, only then homeless dreams can settle in and my journey can’t end without any adventure, that still is waiting for me.
For everyone out there with social problems – they are just in your head, or in people around you heads.
There is nothing wrong with you, “in need for a little push you are”.
Emotional melt down, the last one after break up with my now ex-girlfriend, made something unplug in my head. Feeling different more free, focused and determined step by step i made my self let go, not only a painful break up but few of my traumas as well, so by killing off few of my demons and by accepting my true animal nature – no more there is something that can stop or slow me down.
Fear is just a disease, but your body is not ill your mind is.