we love we fight we burn

To comprehend emotions  – i need to write…
To deal with it i need to spill my guts out  on this digitized sheet of pure white,  open eared goddess. No other way can i make peace with my self and world which i interact with, could i deal with this like normal person i would but there is no other way so i am here and if u are still reading this lets us get on with it.

We humans are loving creatures, but we also are stupid… and when love and human stupidity are combined what do we get?
Well firstly we get illusions then pain and lastly regret, and yes this is tested on my own skin.
And like in every story there is this one girl, one which made me care about her like i never cared about anyone or anything on this greedy wasteland . Probably you already know where i am going with this.
Funny about this whole situation is, it made me realize that not words hurt or make us happy, but person and how that person is saying them.
I am still constantly repeating  her face expression in my head saying thous few words that changed everything.
At that moment my soul split open and my brain froze, only devilish laughter came out of me, like i was laughing at the pain she just caused me. Now i still feel my hands shaking and my whole body bleeding, and my face froze in that one expressionless state.  I just want to pond my head into the wall at least maybe that will make me cry…. why i cant deal with this like normal person? Maybe because my feeling for here where so intense that at that critical moment i broke, because i could hear my self screaming like i was burning alive.

Selfish me… that is why i am bleeding now, even this wont heal me, only she can…
And probably i will never see her again, and probably i will need time to understand what happened  to me today.

And saddest is that i just wanted to say to her that i love her, and i need her… and i could do everything for her, but life does not work this way… we love we fight we burn

i have nothing more i want to say only this :  no mater what do not keep your self  locked inside, give your self room to breath… or u will end up just like me broken and rotting inside